Maybe another blog tomorrow during my long empty work day.keep your fingers crossed! He supports me, loves me, cares for me and about me, and he's with me (no matter what is in my bank account). Having parents pay for your food, pay for the gas used to drive you places, pay for the cute coat you want this cushions you to expect it when you leave. That stuff they feed you in high school about preparing you for college.HORSE CRAP! The only thing that prepares you for the life of a college student is being a college student. They are so easy I don't pay enough attention and I don't study enough and then they get hard. No one told me it was going to be this hard. I work, I pay bills with my income.even though just barely. I am a grown-up, by financial definitions. I work to make it through the day smiling sometime. I work to graduate, even though it may take longer then 4 years. I am trying not to, but it is HARD! I want nothing more then to leave Raleigh right now, drive to Georgia and never leave Khoa's side. I promised myself, Khoa, Julie that I wouldn't fall apart. Choose something, but every night I lay down to go to sleep alone and I don't want to do it anymore. I want to be wrapped up in him, but I don't know what to do. But here's the thing, Khoa is the BEST THING THAT HAS EVER HAPPENED TO ME. Everyone always tells girls to not let themselves get so wrapped up in a boy that they cant be themselves. My friends are being wonderful, wonderful people, but I miss Khoa. I don't know what I am gonna do with my life. I guess in a way I did this to myself, but to tell you the truth there is nothing in Raleigh that I really, really want to stay for. For a long time I didn't want to watch any TV, and by TV I mean movies and seasons of shows on DVD since we don't have TV, TV in out apartment. I don't really want to stay out late, I didn't want to go to the fair. I think the issue with this is that I am losing touch with everyone. I like to think I am becoming more mature by being okay by myself. I suddenly have the strong urge to blog.but about what? Khoa? Naomi? Classes? Friends? Life? I guess the rational answer would be all of them.but what do I say.
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